This is a brilliant start! A really GREAT question to begin….
The start of expansion. Greater understanding. Collaboration. Growth.
In fact, as What If? 360 says, “Asking questions is the heart of change.” I am very honoured to be a part of the Speaker and Workshop line up for the first Canadian What If? 360 Conference, here in Vancouver on March 14 & 15th.
At the conference I will be speaking about:
What If Work Life Balance is Bogus?
But in the meantime, being a part of this mind expanding community in preparation for the conference has made me ponder other What if? questions.
And this week I had a DOOZY! Leading me to…
What if there was no Right or Wrong?
I remember a few years ago coaching a leader around this exact concept in an issue dealing with an employee. But this week I experienced it first hand in my personal life.
I was in a disagreement with my son’s father about where our son should be on the Easter Long Weekend. I, on one hand think he should be in Calgary with his sister and I at his Uncle’s Wedding. His father (yes…I am purposely avoiding the term ex-husband because something about that term feels so yucky!) On the other hand thinks he should be with his spring hockey team in Hope for a team building weekend featuring 8 hours of ice time and white water rafting.
Who is RIGHT? Who is WRONG?
For about a week and a half I was stuck in, “I am right and he is wrong.” Clearly family is more important than hockey. Emails went back and forth defending each other’s position; attempting to convince the other that they were right and outline how clearly wrong the other was. Of course with supporting data, some of which dated back to 16 years ago. There was yelling. There was crying. There was a hold lot of frustration, anger and sadness.
The worst part? There was an 11 year old boy stuck in the middle, while both of his parents attempted to manipulate the situation in their favour.
And then something happened. I stepped outside of opposition.
I thought – why is this so important for him? I did for him what I wanted him to do for me. For almost two weeks I fought to be seen, to be heard, to be understood. It did not work. I am right, he is wrong did not work.
When I shifted from who is right and who is wrong to a place of understanding everyone’s opinions and everyone’s desires, magic happened! I was able to come up with a solution that met everyone’s needs. I offered to take my son to an extra hockey camp this summer to make up for the ice time.
When we are so attached to being right it shuts down all of the possible opportunities and ideas that may present to create a mutually agreeable situation; one in which everyone is a winner. Right and wrong live in opposition to each other, but two different opinions allow for the opportunity to develop three, or four or many more.
There would simply be different opinions. This would allow for creativity, expansiveness and win/win solutions.
So this What If stuff is really the bomb right?! Imagine how inspired you will be after attending the conference where you get to hear about and engage in many What if discussions. It could seriously be life changing! I hope I will see you at the Conference! You can register through my personal registration link here. Use the Promo Code “Earlybird” and SAVE $100 if your register before March 1, 2015!
Are you at odds with an employee or in a relationship? Let’s talk about how support through one on one coaching can help! Contact me today.