Why do we constantly beat ourselves up?
We do it at work – I am not smart enough. I am not good enough with numbers. My public speaking skills are not strong enough. I do not have enough experience. I do not have enough education or letters behind my name. I am not assertive enough. I have not achieved enough.
We do it in our personal lives – I am not skinny enough. I am not pretty enough. I am not fit enough. I am not a good enough cook, parent, friend, employee…
Enough with Enough!
Focusing on the “empty half of the glass” is a great way to go about things if you want to feel down, insecure and less than perfect. We all do it. It seems to be our natural tendency to focus on our weaknesses. We have been trained this way from the time we were children. Remember the day you brought home your report card? You know, the one that had all A’s & B’s except for that C in one subject? For me that subject was math. Did your parents say, “Oh sweetie you got an A in art so I think we should register you for some sculpting classes on the weekend?” Or did they say, “Looks like it is nightly math drills for you!” I still remember those nightly drills sitting in the den with my father drilling me on my times tables. That certainly did not develop a love of math! This is just one example of how society has always been fascinated with our weaknesses.
Fortunately the growing correlation between developing strengths and the impact it has on leadership effectiveness is becoming more and more popular each year. I am a huge fan of the Strengths Revolution – visit my “Favourites” page to see some great books on this topic.
Basically it turns our old way of thinking upside down. It lets us look at the “half full” portion of the glass. If we can identify our strengths and leverage them daily we will be more effective in everything we do and we will feel alive doing it. Sounds like a better option to me. Anyone else on board?
So I challenge you to eliminate “not enough” from your conversations and thought patterns. Change it instead to “I can…” or “I am awesome at…”
Do it now – make a list of 5 things you do consistently well at work or home without even trying. Change your focus to recalling these strengths and applying them any chance you can. And go sign up for those art classes…it’s never too late! You ARE Enough!
Love this! I know some girlfriends in particular who go through life complaining what skills others have and never concentrating on what they have to offer in both their work and home lives. This will be great to share with them!
There is a great message here. I was lucky as a child because my parents bought into the concept of building on strengths; this made for a happy childhood. However when I started working as an adult I quickly learned that developing my weaknesses towards excellence was important to most organizations. It seemed odd to me. I’m glad to see that this is changing with the concept of a strength based culture.
Finally…tonight I needed inspiration. I needed to find something that I can connect with. I needed that extra encouragement and some enlightening words for guidance. GLOW has a positive vitality. I read all of your posts during “my time”…and it energized me. Thank you for sharing.