“Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is… The only problem in your life is your mind’s resistance to life as it unfolds. ”
― Dan Millman
Over the past few weeks my awareness around resistance has been heightened. It all started when I had a car accident. The way in which the events unfolded prevented me from having a rental car long term. As a result I was forced to drive an old beat up dodge neon with large rust spots for over a week. I was horrified! I felt embarrassed driving to school and dance drop off. My kids were embarrassed. If I saw anyone I knew I would immediately roll down the hand crank window to tell them it was a courtesy car.
Why could they have not written “Courtesy Car” on the back so people so people would know this car did not belong to me
I was resisting the image this car portrayed. It was not in alignment with who I am. I would never leave the house after not brushing my hair for a week, wearing my pajamas with holes in them and no make-up – never! Ever! Driving this car felt like the equivalent of that.
However, the resistance was not only skin deep. The core of this resistance was around judgment. Judgment from others; I was afraid people would think I was so unsuccessful in my new venture that I had to sell my car. And judgment from myself about not being “there” yet and having enough money coming in.
Then as things seem to do, the test intensified. The shop advised me that it would be yet another week before I could get my car back. I seriously had to choke back tears. The whole experience of the last few weeks felt overwhelming at that point. I took the rest of the day to wallow in self-pity and overwhelm.
But the next day things changed. I was driving to the beach when it occurred to me – “what we resist, persists.” I chose in that moment to embrace the Sexy Blue Dodge Neon. I chose to feel gratitude that I had a car that could get me from place to place and I chose to know in my heart that a car did not represent who I was or the level of my success. A few hours later the shop called to tell me that they would come in for the weekend and I could have my car back on Monday.
Wow! I stopped resisting and within a few hours got exactly what I wanted.
This week I had the extreme pleasure of seeing my friend and sorority sister Tracy Maxwell, who I have not seen for about 17 years. Her book Single with Cancer will be released on July 28th. She is truly an inspiration!
Her words from Tuesday keep coming back to me, “Cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
She is choosing to embrace her experience with cancer and breathe in all the wonderful lessons she is learning along the way. She is choosing to use her experience to help and inspire other singles with cancer. I can hardly wait to see how it all unfolds as I know it is going to be big and very, very meaningful.
These experiences have inspired me to examine where else in my life I may be resisting or in desire of a different experience. I have identified two areas where I am now consciously choosing to move out of resistance. Rather than force, push, direct; I am shifting to a different type of energy. I am choosing to allow, to just be and to practice gratitude for what is, as within each experience there is something to be learned or discovered. From this point I will take inspired action and trust that all my dreams will come true.
What in your life are you resisting? How is that resistance making you feel? Exhausted, overwhelmed, a lack of control? How can you shift to a more powerful place by allowing, letting go of control and pushing uphill and trusting that by embracing the journey, the results you desire will flow.
I too have had my own challenge moments the past few weeks! Now I am going to look at it differently also – by choosing to focus on what I am thankful for!!
Awesome Scarlett. We both have so much to be grateful for. One of those things for me is your friendship! xo