In the Gap – From Fear to Love

Today is my day to blog. For the past 15 months I have blogged every second week – no exception. I typically start to think about what I will write about a few days before; however, there have been days when I wake up and ask for inspiration. It always comes.

This morning I woke up at a loss. I didn’t feel like writing.Then the inspiration presented itself. I was reading through my email and got my weekly Bloglovin feed and was led to my good friend Scarlett Ballantyne’s post this week about being authentic.

Authenticity is one of the key leadership pillars that I work with clients on all the time. Great things can happen if we are real and vulnerable. Taking away the mask of perfection is scary but it leads to something much more powerful than perfection – it leads to connection.

We are all human; all flawed; all broken.

Yet we are so afraid of being judged ; of not being loved, that we put up walls or put on pretty masks and try our very best to portray how perfect we are. In our pursuit of perfect we actually decrease our ability to connect at a genuine level. As no human being is perfect, we struggle in connecting to someone who is perceived to be that way.

Today I did not feel like blogging because I am not authentically in a space of positive inspiration. I am in a gap. Christmas is over and the New Year has not begun. 2013 was an incredibly hard year for me.

To be 100% honest I feel scared, I feel disappointed and I feel sad.

Yes, I am now doing what I am supposed to be but as anyone who starts their own business knows, it takes time and patience, which for me equals uncertainty. Then there is the fact that my heart longs to share my life with a partner and the sadness that surrounds the loss of what I thought was my future; my forever.

So for today, I will allow myself to feel this way.

To honour my feelings and reside momentarily in a space of fear. Fear that I will not be able to pay my bills or that I will end up living my life alone with no great love. But just for today.

Tomorrow I will commit to shifting my perspective from fear to love. A love based perspective says trust what your heart says. My heart says I am on the right track with my business and that things will pick up. The universe will provide all the abundance I need.

I will also trust that someone will come into my life and love me like no other – even the broken, far from perfect parts and on days like to today, tell me everything will be ok. I might even go out on a limb and start internet dating like my friends have been trying to get me to do for months – Yikes, that brings up a whole other bunch fears!

Because I am truly committed to creating the life my heart is longing to live I will honour my feelings and then move beyond fear to a place of love – let go and trust that this time next year things will look much different!