Mirror, Mirror

See this sign? It must be above my head…. right?!

Well if it isn’t why am I so drawn to men that are afraid of commitment?

When people say, “What’s your type?” I can now confidently say, highly intelligent, great sense of humour, charismatic, chivalrous, has a strong command, globally minded, sexy socks and cufflinks…

AND afraid of commitment!

Since putting myself back out there in the dating world I have learned a lot about myself; including, I seem to have a pattern. I am very selective in the men I choose to date and have very high standards. As a result, even though I have been actively dating, I have only felt a connection with two men this year.

They are both afraid of commitment! Shocking? Or maybe not so much!

In my search to uncover why this is happening, a very wise intuitive coach said to me,

“We choose those who mirror what is in us. Look at their fears to uncover what is holding you back.”

So I have been. What is it that I think they fear? Why do they fear that? What events in their past may be causing hurts that are preventing them from moving forward?

When I looked in the mirror I saw:

Fear of abandonment – Each one of us has been in a situation where we were abandoned by someone we loved greatly and felt connected and committed to, whether it was physical or emotional abandonment.

Fear of trusting in success – Each one of us had one or two relationships that did not end in Happily Ever After. I think we believed they would when we entered them, which makes the fear even greater. It makes us question our judgment about moving forward. Even though I truly believe we want to be in loving and committed relationships, our history is compelling evidence that scares us to death.

Fear of losing ourselves – I am highly independent and so are the men I am attracted to.  We are so afraid that if we enter into a loving, connected, lifelong partnership that we will lose our unique selves and blur into one. One, which does not serve our unique, divine and individual purpose.

Holding up the mirror was a great exercise for me. I am now aware of what was below the surface acting like a magnet for lack of commitment.  I am now ready to let go of these fears  and get a new, improved, sexy sign over my head.

Sexy, intelligent, passionate girl looking to light the world on fire! Who wouldn’t commit?!

What does the sign say over your head? What patterns can you identify in your relationships with partners, friends, co-workers? When you hold up the mirror what is in their behaviour that may represent your own internal fears?

Burn it! Get a new sexy sign with some “oh yeah” mojo and start living a new KICK ASS life!